This Chameleon Is Tiny And Grumpy And I Love Him

Glaw et al, Scientific Reports 2021

Size is everything (in the nicest way possible)

Everything has been bad for a long time. All of 2020 was bad. All of it. Start to finish. If that wasn’t bad enough things weren’t even magically better at 12:01AM on January 1st 2021, which, to me, feels like a scam. Today, though, there is some good news.

And boy, howdy, it is good.

Although it feels like the world is growing smaller and smaller, every so often science comes through to remind us all that hey, actually, this bitch is huge and there is so much we don’t know. Case in point, last week not one, but two new animals were discovered. Earlier in the week it was announced that researchers have identified a new species of whale in the Gulf of Mexico, and as cool as that is (truly not trying to take anything away from you, Rice’s whale), that’s not what we’re here to talk about.

Today we’re here to marvel at this little bastard.

 Glaw et al, Scientific Reports 2021

The researchers responsible for finding this small and equally angry man pouting in northern Madagascar are saying this is possibly the tiniest reptile on the planet, and y’know what? I believe them. To me this new nano chameleon looks like a Barry, or perhaps a Gerald, but his official name is Brookesia nana, shortened to B. nana.

B. nana, the sour-puss nano chameleon. Hello, Pixar? Are you writing this down?

I’d imagine it’s hard to be taken seriously as a 13.5mm long lizard essentially named banana, however because the females are larger than oh-so-miniscule males, that means they have to have pretty —aherm— substantial junk to do the deed. So, hey, chin up, guy! You may be small, but you’re big where it counts.

You know what they say, the smaller the chameleon, the larger the trouser snake...?

You can read all about this delightfully tiny Madagascar lizard and his comparatively large penis here in the journal published to Scientific Reports.

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